You know how moms always give you generic advice? That advice that makes your soul shrivel and you wonder how your mom made it this far in life. Words like "I'm rubber, you're glue. Anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you". Jesus mom, did you just sit in a corner through high school?
As it happens, mom was right. Most of the advice she gave, was the advice I could have used. I should have worn whatever clothes I wanted. I would have had more confidence through school and I probably would have been happier. However, I can't go back. So, moral of the story, wear those leather leggings. Color your hair blue. Dance in the parking lot. Wear glitter all over your face because, god damn it, you're a fucking diamond.
Sorry to get all nostalgic, but it's true. I should have just listened when my mom said that he was a loser and that I could do better.
This is the completely true story of my virginity and how mother knows best.
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