We now return to the previously scheduled program of "religious kids+sexual facts= complete bullshit".
8th grade was an interesting time. This was the time when everyone is growing and producing hormones that fuel rage and lust. Apparently, puberty also activates the bullshit gene.
In 8th grade, everyone was simply trying to fit in and the best way to do that: ACT GROWN UP. I don't mean getting a job or driving a car... Psh! Fuck that noise. No, I mean that everyone starts talking like they know every fact that has ever existed. When I say fact, I mean guess. Every boy guessed what a blow job actually meant and some even researched it. Nobody actually knew what any of this sexual stuff was, but we sure did pretend like we did.
For example, all of the girls that had "become women" started telling all of us young-ins what it was really like in bloody, gory detail. You would think that a roman goddess had come down from the sky and sent demons into their woohas. I, personally, was terrified. I also took this time to freak the fuck out because guess who has always been a late bloomer? Me.
In this whole guesstimation era, people also started calling each other "gay", "jews" and of course "he-shes". They were all clearly on to me....
Tune in next time for more adolescent paranoia....
This is the story of my virginity and how mormon kids can't fake shit.
-M
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