Welcome back dear readers. I hope you're ready to begin my story.
Just like every other story of delusion, mine starts in elementary school. I was in the 4th grade and I remember the day too well. Does everyone recall that magical lesson that every 4th grader learns? The obvious lesson that starts us all on the path of self discovery? That's right, I'm talking about the puberty talk.
Keep in mind dear readers, most of the U.S. is taught abstinence-only education. In my little town, however, we are never even taught that sex exists. We only learn what we can deduce from late night, adult cartoons and covert internet searches. The lack of knowledge also extends to the puberty talk.
The talk began a little like this: "I know this is a little scary, but someday soon your bodies will be changing." Of course, 4th grade me was only hoping that I would get attractive soon. I was very disappointed to hear that this "change" meant Niagara Falls pouring from me while I try to hide my pain, and the stained underwear, from the rest of the world.
The talk was uncomfortable and, of course, generally bullshit. All of the girls were given a "sanitary napkin", which really could have been a dinner napkin for all we knew, and a GIANT tampon. Just like that, we were sent back to our classrooms to be bombarded with questions from the boys about what we had just learned. With our heads held high and our backpacks now armed with feminine products we all left school curious and terrified.
Now imagine young me sitting in my bathroom staring at this mammoth tampon. Being young and naive and too scared to find a hand mirror, you kind of just have to guess and lets be blunt by saying I had no fucking clue.
As a 4th grader who can't find her own feminine parts, she just assumes they aren't there. Yes. Laugh all you want. I believed for years that I was just a-sexual or something.
Now, that is the beginning of the story of my virginity and whether or not it exists.
-M
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